Semi-annual update?

Wow. Totally sucking at the blogging thing lately. Really? Last post in July? You would think I don't think any more...well...there are days.....

I guess it's just quicker to send a shout-out on Facebook these days. Kind of a bummer actually. Although, I really love that this week I got in touch with people I went to elementary school with! WOW. So cool. Although, I wonder- when the heck did we all get so OLD? I think the best was a friend telling me that he remembered me smiling a lot, or as he said, "pretty much all the time." Since I remember myself being a bit of a crybaby- that was pretty nice! There are cool things about Facebook, although...SO not a fan of farms and mafias and whatever. Thank goodness you can block those applications.

So what is new? Not a lot. Work is work. We're in the crazy Christmas push when we put up 4 shows in 2 weeks- always a delight. We're in pretty good shape this year, thanks to the fact that we built part of the show last year before the fire. It was a little bumpy at first, since we lost the notes we made on all the garments, but we figured it out. We start dress rehearsals tomorrow-then it's 2 weeks of craziness and then life goes back to "normal."

Oh. And I got nominated for a Gregory Award for Outstanding Costume Design. I didn't win- but I was nominated by my peers- so that is indeed an honor. The ceremony was...interesting. I'm not a big "schmoozer" and now that I don't live somewhere that I am labeled an extrovert- my introvert has a tendency to show herself more- usually at these type of events. It made me start thinking that perhaps, if I can get it to work with my schedule, I think I would like to work at other theaters...we'll see how it goes. But it was an excuse to buy a posh frock and fancy schmancy shoes.... Grey lace and sequins on the dress- sparkly silver heels with bows! AWESOME.

On the spiritual front....hmmm....finding a lot more "rest" these days. I'm liking it. I think the most valuable lesson I learned this year was- while I may be valuable, I am not indispensable. Life goes on without me. SO freeing. I haven't mastered it yet- but things are better. As far as church goes- am exploring some options, opportunities...etc. etc. Just taking the next step- we'll see where it goes. Am still enjoying my ladies Bible study- very much. Can't help thinking that it's what God intended church to be all along- food, prayer, study, talking, talking, talking, talking. These ladies are so precious to me- my friends. I am interested to see where it all goes. Been having some of my freaky-deaky spiritual dreams- actually got an interpretation for one today. It's always amazing to me how God doesn't always give the big picture- but gives pieces to different people. I get the dreams and the end story, and my friends get the in-between, you would think God intended us to work together or something... But still- when I meet Jesus- I'm still gonna be all "DUDE. What is UP with the dream thing?" Okay. Maybe I won't say "DUDE"- but still...

So life is still life..the good, the bad, the ugly. Catch y'all in a few months.
Selah.

Selah...

Wow. I haven't blogged since I was 39! HA! So, now....I am 40- have been for awhile. Don't really have much of an issue with it except that I feel like I should have more wisdom. Eh. Perhaps ignorance is bliss.
Does anyone read blogs anymore? Or do they take too much time in the day and age of tweets and status updates?

Huh. You know, I really did have to walk to school uphill in the snow both ways when I was a youngster....although...I did have shoes. I remember the days when you went to the library to do research in BOOKS and you had to type it up on one of those new-fangled word processors- of course, that was in the day when you wanted to talk to someone, you called their house and if they weren't home...you called back later. Or if it was busy, you called back later. And cellphones were as big as a stereo. It's amazing how technology has advanced in 20 years- crazy. I think I have mixed feelings about that.

So what's up. Well....I have deep vein thrombosis in my leg- so I'm 2 months into anticoagulent therapy. That's delightful. I have to have frequent blood tests and be "consistent." Consistent in my lifestyle- which has been challenging since the only thing I am consistent at is being inconsistent. I did learn that anticoagulents and tech week don't get along well- my blood work went way wonky, but the good news is that it has stabilized and is in the target range now. I can't eat lots of green veggies or drink wine...or cut myself. Life sure is interesting. I'll have another ultrasound in the fall to see if it's gone and then....we'll see.

Work has returned to "normal" stress. Marty and I took a break back in March and went to Whidbey Island for some R&R- when I got back, I just felt like God was telling me that my perspective on my job didn't match His perspective on my job- and well, I needed to fix that. Thoughts that ran through my head at the time....becoming indispensible is rooted in pride... that His work should be able to continue whether I was involved or not and it was up to me to make sure that happened...that I am not my job, my job is not my identity.... there has been quite a bit of freedom in that arena. Theatre is all-consuming- that is the nature of it, but my outlook has and is changing...I look forward to seeing what happens. Right now, we are starting the fall touring company- this year pirates and superheroes- lots of fun.

I really enjoyed designing Man of La Mancha. I love the story. I love the period. As I was thinking about the performance I saw the other night this morning, I just had this profound revelation of how God looks at us. In the story, Don Quixote is convinced that the woman he loves (who is in reality, Aldonza, the whore) is the Lady Dulcinea- beautiful, pure and good. He sees nothing but the good. I think that's how God looks at us. How Jesus looks at us. At one point, Aldonza looks at him and says,"For once, please, look at me and see me how I really am." And he does- and he says,"You are my Lady Dulcinea." I think God knows how we really are- in our broken "reality" state- and He knows how we are in TRUTH- in our beautiful, pure state. Kind of amazing.
That's all nice and deep- but now, let's talk codpieces. I really wanted to keep them, make them subtle, but keep in the period clothing intact. However, once we saw the mock-up- totally obscene. Hilarious, but obscene- they had to be cut. However, the one we made is hanging on the bulletin board- so funny.

We took a trip to the Oregon Coast- of course, every time I go on vacation- I want to move where I've gone. But I really love the Oregon Coast- it stays cool. The Pacific Ocean is amazing and majestic and....loud. I love Haystack Rock- it was just so much fun to be on the beach and surrounded by the mountains. I love living in the Pacific Northwest.

The jury is still out on the whole subject of "church." I have really been enjoying the deep Bible study I've been doing with my "Bible Study Ladies" on the book of Daniel. I really want to read a Bible that is the scripture in chronological order. I think it's so fascinating. I really think it's amazing that pretty much all of the prophecy in the book of Daniel has already happened- down to dates! Crazy how specific it gets- just makes me want to go deeper and study some more. To me, that's church. I still really think "church" is supposed to be closer to what we consider small groups. Get together, eat, pray, study the word of God...share, love, fellowship...be. Sigh. Less service, more relational. What to do...what to do.....

So that's all the news for now. Upcoming events include a possible trip to Iowa (Kansas and Colorado on the road trip home) and a trip to Arizona. I am looking forward to that. I've never seen the Grand Canyon- so I am pretty pumped to hang out with my beloved, stinkin' talented artist hubby and my folks there.

Good night y'all. See you in a couple of months.....
Selah.

Almost 40

In mere hours, I will be 40 years old. All I can think is, how the heck did THAT happen? Shouldn't I be smarter? Oh well. I am not traumatized by it at all. It's just a bit....weird. Perhaps... a bit anticlimactic.

And where am I in my life? I don't know. I guess I am okay. There is no particular area that I am particularly unhappy with. I am pretty blessed although life is far from perfect. I guess with old age, you make your peace with imperfection. I just pray that life will get fuller and richer...and perhaps....slower. I don't want to miss out on anything- but I do not want a life so busy that I can't enjoy any of it. I just want to love my husband, make some art, do some gardening and some praying, hang with my friends and family and enjoy the life I have. Too bad all the daily, little stuff gets in the way.

40. Huh.

Bloggety blog blog

It's interesting to me that here in the day and age of Facebook and Twitter, how even blogging seems to be going by the wayside. Huh.

So...anyhoo. We're back in the theatre again. Sort of. This week we'll hopefully be finishing the move back in. Things have been very amazing and very hard. I am plumb wore out. But life goes on. The costume shop is set up and the offices are in process and I am waiting on the trap room to be cleared to be able to move the costume stock back in. I got caught up on some of my "normal" job stuff today and am hopeful that we'll be back to the regular insanity soon. I am taking the next show "off" so I'll have plenty of time to design poufy, pretty dresses for Charley's Aunt. Men in victorian drag...instant comedyl

Winter in Seattle hasn't been. Nope. We haven't seen a snowflake here in the city and it's been warmer than usual. I'm still a little amazed that there are people who really think that the irresponsible way we as a society live has no impact on our environment. Blows my mind. But I am happy to see my little purple crocus showing off and am looking forward to daffodils and blooming trees here in the next couple of weeks.

I'm really impressed with my husband lately. He had a fabulous show down in Pioneer Square- hundreds of people wandered through (and we hear it was "slow") and he was the talk of the town. I really love his art. It's so...smart. And funny- and well crafted. I confess there are times that I just want to keep a lot of it...but that's not reasonable. All the work at this particular show was new- 46 pieces. Impressive. He sold some (I think he undersells himself- but he's a big boy- he can make that call) and has had some more business as a result of the show. Now he's working hard on getting his Etsy shop up and going...and then we found out that his art is not only in the book "Masters Collage" coming out in June, it's on the cover as well! Yep. He rocks...that's all there is to it.

Got a lot on my mind spiritually as well. I am looking forward to things calming down in the building, my prayer "closet" (the costume shop) has been unavailable and I miss it. I'm still not sure how I feel about church- and am sad about that...but I can't be dishonest about how I feel. I am a part of a ladies Bible study now, but sometimes, even that feels "churchy"- what to do, what to do. How can one be true to Christ and to God and not be churchy? I don't know- I expect I'll spend the rest of my life trying to sort that one out.

So that's about it. Wish I had something more profound to say. But nope, got nothin'.

Bidding 2009 Farewell...

And I can't say that I am sorry to do so. It's been a hard year. Not a bad year, just a hard one.

We lost our Mickey back in the spring and I still miss he and Max something fierce. Christmas was hard without a kitty. I had a hard time when I found their little stockings in the Christmas decorations.

Friends lost parents- a horrible thing...mortality. And now I feel bad when mine drive me crazy- because I love them and am thankful they are still around, but sometimes- mom makes me a little nuts.

There's been lots of transition at church and I'm still not a fan of church- and that makes me feel... I don't know.

Then there was the fire. The fire. The stupid fire that seems to still be all consuming 2 months later. There was an arson in the building next to the theatre. The theatre was actually on fire- very briefly- but thankfully- it was caught before it did too much damage. I think we didn't realize initially how much damage there was. But there was a ton of smoke and water damage. And we had to replace..um..a wall. The day of the fire we packed up the entire production of Enchanted April, washed what we could, aired out the rest the best we could, moved it to The Seattle Children's Theatre, teched it and put on 2 shows- all within 36 hours of the fire happening. Now that I look back...that was CRAZY. But we did it- and it was amazing. The SCT folks were beyond fantastic.
Then there was the inventory- when 3 of us had to pretty much go through every item of anything in the theatre. That was a hellish few days. We threw away unbelievable amounts of stuff. And then they took everything to the drycleaners. EVERYTHING- well, that we didn't throw away. The inventory guy estimates the bill will be around $35,000. Thank you, Jesus, for great insurance.
Then we had to figure out- where were we going to work? Where would the costume shop go while the theatre was being remodeled? So stressful. I think we've all been so stressed for so long, we don't even recognize it anymore. Although, I have bad headaches now that I am sure are tied to tension in my neck.
Then we changed the Christmas show- and the venue....wow. And basically re-marketed and pulled together a production in about 2 weeks. It's a wonder we've all survived. Meanwhile, through all the moving and shopping and designing and planning and sewing, there were weekly deliveries of costume stock coming back to be sorted, purged and organized. All bottoms were separated from tops. Thank heaven the socks and gloves were still paired up!
40 boxes, several garbage bags of stuff were given to other theatres and the homeless. More will probably go when we move back into the theatre.
Dealing with the fire is like having a full time job, which is great- except that we all already have full time jobs. I suspect when we finally get everything settled, it'll be time to move back to the theatre- so this is a several month process....replacing anything plastic, cardboard...craziness. I still don't know where a bunch of stuff is.
Through it all- well, it's been amazing. People have been so supportive. God has been faithful. It's just hard to lift your head from the daily insanity to take a moment to notice it all.
And that's been our lives since that fateful day on October 23rd. They caught the arsonist and we suspect he'll go to jail for a very long time as he is a repeat offender. And eventually, life will calm down.

Good things happened this year too. I got to spend my mom's 70th birthday with her, we got to see lots of friends this year, and visit Marty's family too. People are so important. I really had a nice Christmas season- we got to spend time with many friends and it was just....fun. But I have to say...I'm not too sad to say goodbye to 2009.

2010 looks...I have no idea. HA. I'm sure work will still be quite stressful for the first half of the year, and the second half. But I think the second half will be normal stress, which probably won't feel like stress.... I don't really make resolutions or goals at the new year- I make them as they turn up...so we'll see what happens as life goes on. I turn 40 this year. How the heck did that happen? My beloved and I will celebrate our 4th anniversary and I am still pretty crazy about him. Past that- who knows what the future will hold? But I'm ready to head that way.

Happy New Year y'all.

And so....

It's October. Mid-October. This is the first chance I've had to blog, if that tells you anything. Enchanted April is up, running and approaching closing week. To say it was a rough build is a mild understatement, so we'll leave it at that. I am currently up to my eyeballs with the Christmas show already- a lovely little period job- something like 35-40 victorian costumes and uniforms! Bleah. I hate uniform shows- we have to find what works best and actually FITS today's people (who are generally larger than those in WWI) and there's always some expert in the audience to pick it apart. Sigh. Oh well. It's the glamourous life of the costumer. Never ending thrills and chills.
My life has pretty much been consumed by work. That's not an understatement, and I'm not a fan of that situation. It's just sort of the way it is right now. We did go on vacation to visit Marty's family in Florida- which was WAY fun...but not particularly restful. So I am pretty darn tired- an allover weariness, if you will. It' s just a hard time right now. The theatre is feeling the crunch of the recession- so that's some added stress on everyone. It's hard to do more with less- but we all manage to manage. Two of my friends have had parents die in the past few weeks. So my heart hurts for them- and it just makes me think about our own parents and their mortality and issues that they deal with. I have young friends still dealing with cancer... And the rain has started. October in Seattle. Life just feels....heavy.
Our church issues- still very much up in the air. I think Marty put it best when he said,"I don't need services, I need relationships." I still think that I am going through a redefining of what church is- but I'm struggling. Part of it is circumstances, part of it is being tired. I probably sound more "down" than I feel. But I often wonder, what the heck are we even doing out here in Seattle? Why? We're not near family. It's a battle to get friendships started and keep them going. Do I really love my job this much? What is the point of being at church? People are always glad to see us, but whatever we contribute seems to just turn to dust in the wind.... I just don't know. It's all a bit of a muddle. But we just keep trekking on because really, what else can you do? I'm sure God will reveal all in His timing, I just sure wish He'd throw me a bone or something.

Is anybody listening?

So here's the thing that's been on my mind, in my heart...percolating in my spirit. Prayer. Prayer. Prayer. This I know, that when I just get in the presence of God- just to hang out- that's when things start to move with power. And that is what I want to see....moving in power. I know in my own life, I don't make enough time for that sort of prayer. The kind where you just have to press in and wait. Sometimes, waiting takes a long time. Sometimes, nothing comes except for just hanging out with God. And that's okay. But I am digressing from the point I want to make. And it's this. We spend a lot of time in prayer just talking. Talk, talk, talk. Request, request, request. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Jabber, jabber, jabber. What if we stopped? What if we stopped talking? What if, knowing that He is God, we were still and just listened? I know that's a personal...goal...whatever....for me. I know that I had a really good "soak" yesterday and that I need to make it more of a priority. And during that soak, I was praying for the "church"- my church, the whole church...praying about corporate prayer.

What would happen to a group of leaders who sought the presence of God without an agenda? What if prayer wasn't a grocery list of prayer requests?
Perhaps, instead of asking God to bless what we do, we could listen and find out what He is doing and help Him with it, perhaps that would produce a whole lot of fruit. Perhaps we would find wholeness, healing and freedom. Perhaps...if we would be still, make time and listen.

I've been reading Revelation- and I know, it's a goofy book. But it's really one of my favorites. I find it hopeful and alarming- particularly the bits about being lukewarm or thinking you are alive when you are actually dead....yikes. When Jesus is talking to the churches, warning them, He says the following every time:

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

He says it seven times, to seven churches. And I wonder, with all of our talking...is anyone actually listening?