Friday, March 14, 2008

Max

Max is gone. As most of y'all know, he's been going down hill for over a year now. Chronic constipation and arthritis and the Lord only knows what. It's been terrible to watch my "kitten," who was still a kitten when he was 11-12 years old suddenly get very old. He's always been a baby. And like I have blogged before, he loved Marty- he was his baby too. So he started his usual routine of being constipated this week and we have been watching him. But something in my heart just shifted last night. I got up early this morning and spent 45 minutes of extra mommy time with him, and I am so glad I did. He purred and was content and he was so beautiful. I called the vet when I got to work and told her what was going on and we talked about doing x-rays and bloodwork and an enema (what feels like his kabillionth) and then I went and picked him up and took him in. It had not occurred to me in my conscious thoughts that I would put him to sleep today. But after a long discussion with our vet, we just decided enough was enough and it was time. I was so tired of watching him hurt and not be himself. So I called Marty and he came over, we signed the paperwork and stayed with him until he was asleep. We loved on him and told him how much we loved him- and then we let him go. We left the room when they gave him "the shot." We just couldn't handle that. IT TOTALLY SUCKS!!!!!!
I know this was the best decision for him. I am trusting that he goes back to God- whatever that means in animal land. I know he knew God- he always wanted to be picked up when I was praying and he loved to be prayed for. Creatures know their Creator.
I hate looking at his chair being empty. I walk into the living room and he's not there and I hate it. I know he wasn't himself for a long time, but he was there. Wanting "mommy time." I am not looking forward to going to bed for awhile- that's when we had "mommy time." Before I would go to bed I would pet him for awhile and we would have a lovefest. I don't think Marty is doing much better. We don't quite know what to do with ourselves today. We didn't expect to put him to sleep today- I think we knew it would be soon...but not today. And on my birthday weekend. Ouch. Mickey probably won't start to figure it out until tonight. Max would be gone all day to the vet for the enemas, but he'd be back at night. Part of me thinks I'll have to go get him soon. But he's gone. There's a hole in my heart. I know some people don't understand how people get attached to pets...but that's their problem. We loved our boy and will miss him terribly for a long time. I am going to trust God that I can get to a place when I can look back and celebrate his life. He was a good kitty. He had an amazing knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He love to give you "kisses" and would head-butt you when he was happy. He was shy. His meow always sounded like a baby's meow. He was 14 1/2 years old and I got him when he was a kitten. He was a huge blessing to me.

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