I am here. It's January, it's raining. Whoo hoo.
The holidays were an adventure- check out Marty's blog for all the gory details. Suffice it to say, while I was so happy to see family and friends, it was not a restful time for me and I was happy to come home. When we returned home, the boys were happy to see us and did well boarding at the vet (yay). I went back to work on Friday and by Friday night, felt like POOP. Yep, I caught the nasty cold going around and was pretty much useless for the whole weekend. I actually slept most of the weekend when we got home.
Since then, it's been hard to get back in the routine again. This time last year, I was also having a hard time. Things that make you go hmmmm. Work is busy- we're doing Shakespeare, As You Like It, with 12 people who change eighty kabillion times. So that's a bit of a challenge. We're setting it in the 1960's. For the record, I've watched some 60's movies for research (Easy Rider, Across the Universe) and I, for one, am thankful I was not a child of the 60's. I did not enjoy the "trips" at all. But we press on and I think the show's costumes will be fun.
At home, Christmas is, for the most part, put away. I still have to do a new Christmas Card list and I left the mistletoe up accidentally. This week, Marty was in the West Seattle Art Walk and did an online video interview for the West Seattle Herald (check out his blog to see it- it's pretty cool). He's such a stud. Tonight he's in the Ballard Art Walk. I tell you what, he's kicking butt and taking names. I am very happy for him. I really think that this year, he'll have to seriously consider being a business. He's sold something every month for the last 3-4 months. His little funny collages are selling like hotcakes- they're really a hoot. He cranked out 10 this week to take to Twilight- they needed more. Go, baby, go!
As for me, I am really battling some depression. I keep going because-well, what else are you gonna do? But nothing really excites me anymore and I just feel tired a lot and I don't really care about stuff...but I do care. I don't know. I just know that I've been battling it for a year or so, I am sick of it. Marty is sick of it. And I feel terrible because he has to put up with me and he tries to help- but nothing really does. I know that it's me that needs to change...but I don't know what to do or how to do it. I've been praying, but so far, nada. I am just not myself. I was really disturbed by some of the stuff I saw happening in my family when I went home and that has me down. I worry that I am failing Marty all the time and that has me down. I worry that I am failing God all the time and that has me down. And I just can't "fake it" anymore. I am due for a physical in February- so I will talk to my doctor then. In the meantime, I will keep on keepin' on- because I don't know what else to do. But for all you prayers out there- feel free to pray for me. Signing off for now, be patient with me.
2 comments:
How long have you lived in the NW? Sometimes the weather can have a "dampening" affect on more than just the grass. You mentioned feeling the same way last year about this time. FWIW, I'm battling a bit myself. It's been a rough beginning to the new year (although a blessed one...things could have been so much worse!). You pull my bootstrap & I'll pull yours! Luv ya!
Prayers from Atlanta!
Don't know how much good they will do, I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling some myself. But one word I did catch more than once in your blog that I totally identify with is "worry". I'll be praying for a spirit of trust and that you feel deep in your bones that God is taking care of you and watching over you. - Melody
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