How I am.

Someone asked me, "How are you?" today and I didn't know how to answer them. I guess I am ok. I have A LOT going on. Joseph is proving to be a challenging show on many levels, and yet, things seem to be going well... I guess. There have been some serious dramas with the tuxedos we're supposed to get for the band, we don't know who is playing who, do they need to change, do they have time to change and where will they change. I am not the designer- and I feel like I am a giant go-between for all these crazy working parts- which is what I am. I feel like I am having to be more "managerial" in my job- and I am still adjusting to that and am not sure how I feel about it. I miss making things and sometimes it really is faster and easier to do something yourself than it is to have to set it up for someone else to do. And I am having trouble finding time to start designing Earnest and be an artist- I am going to take a day tomorrow and just do it.

There is also a lot of internal goofiness happening at work. I see God's hand in all of it, but I can see how some people would not. There's a lot of internal strife, healing and people "stuff" going on. We are smack in the middle of the refiner's fire, and it's not pretty. It's ok. It really is. But it is not fun to go through. I find it astonishing how God is growing individuals and pushing them to places they aren't comfortable and he's working in so many people at the same time and it's all working towards His unified purpose for the company. It's really amazing. And I feel really blessed that I can see that- or I think I would be really discouraged. And I wonder- what is He working in me? I can't see or feel it- but I hope something is happening.

I am trying to learn not to be so busy. I don't really know how. But yet, I don't feel busy. But I do feel busy. I guess I feel busy, but I don't feel like I am seeing any fruit from all the busy- I guess that's how I feel. So- how am I? I am lost. I am busy. I am ok. I am watching God do His thing. I don't really know how I am.