I was reading on the "Between Journey" blog today about how someone held Jeff accountable for the fact that he's been pushing the spiritual gifting seminars without giving anyone any info about it. Good for her! You go girl! That is really hard to do- on both ends. It got me thinking a bit about accountability- especially in this time where the economy is going willy nilly because of the supreme LACK of accountability...SEE PEOPLE?! When there is no accountability, things go willy nilly and sometimes, the consequences are dire and quite painful.
It's just so interesting to me. I feel like what God is having me "work on" in the past bit 'o' time is that whole accountability thing. Not only for myself (I try really hard to do what I say I will, I usually do, but sometimes...it's a bit later than I would like to) but...and this is the terribly hard part for me, for others. I feel like God is calling me to "speak up" and hold others accountable. To me, this is...terrifying. I can do it, but usually I wait until I feel backed up against a wall, and then I get all emotional- usually not about the issue at hand, but about the fact that I have to BRING IT UP...it is very, very stressful to me. Especially in dealing with someone who might be considered an authority figure. Seriously, it FREAKS ME OUT. I really believe in honoring authority- and have had some bad teaching taking that concept to the extreme, as in "honoring authority" means NEVER questioning it- even when leadership is running amuck. I am still unlearning this, and I think it contributes to the stress. But I am getting more and more convinced that a lack of accountability is wreaking havoc in our society. It's more obvious in the economical and political arenas, but it's pretty bad everywhere else too.
I am starting small. I told the children at the Northwest Church that I would hold them accountable for passing out invites to Trunk-or-Treat. I put it in plain terms. I told them,"I will come back and make sure you did what you said you would, because if you didn't, what does that mean?"
And they told me the truth. "It means we lied."
Yikes.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
ROBBED!
Yep. That's me. I've been robbed. The Secret Garden Bookstore just called me to inform me that someone walked off with a piece of my art. Apparently, this has never happened before. They will pay me for the piece and I suspect the Ballard Newspaper will be giving me a call....but...I've been robbed. It makes me feel...strange.
Just more evidence we live in a fallen world.
I think the piece that was stolen ("B" is for Butterfly) wasn't that expensive- maybe around $50-60....so you would think someone could afford it...but no...
I have to confess that my experience with this particular show hasn't been the best. They wanted me for the artwalk, but weren't actually OPEN for the artwalk...and then this. They are very kind and wonderful people- they are horrified and feel terrible about what happened. It's not them at all. And I just keep hearing "extend grace." That's what I heard when I found out that they wouldn't be open for the artwalk, "extend grace." And "extend grace" is what I hear now. They offered to take down my stuff and return it to me, but I told them it wasn't necessary, we could wait until the end of the show. It's odd. I think God is working something here, although I have NO idea what it could be- but I am choosing to trust Him. His ways aren't our ways, don't you know.
I sure hope whoever stole my art really enjoys it.
Just more evidence we live in a fallen world.
I think the piece that was stolen ("B" is for Butterfly) wasn't that expensive- maybe around $50-60....so you would think someone could afford it...but no...
I have to confess that my experience with this particular show hasn't been the best. They wanted me for the artwalk, but weren't actually OPEN for the artwalk...and then this. They are very kind and wonderful people- they are horrified and feel terrible about what happened. It's not them at all. And I just keep hearing "extend grace." That's what I heard when I found out that they wouldn't be open for the artwalk, "extend grace." And "extend grace" is what I hear now. They offered to take down my stuff and return it to me, but I told them it wasn't necessary, we could wait until the end of the show. It's odd. I think God is working something here, although I have NO idea what it could be- but I am choosing to trust Him. His ways aren't our ways, don't you know.
I sure hope whoever stole my art really enjoys it.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Things that make you go hmmmm....
I have been feeling discouraged lately. I read the New York Times as my primary source of news and it seems that the country is falling apart around me and there is no hope. I'm tired at work and got the news today that the primary stitcher I was hoping to get for the Christmas build is backing out and working for a bigger theatre that can pay more- a bit of a blow, since there isn't anyone else available. But then I got this in my email today from a friend- a letter that is circulating from David Letterman, of all people...and it sure is interesting to think about....
David Letterman wrote this; it's the David we don't often see...
"As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.” 'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?
A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?
B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?
C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.
H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.
J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.
K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?
Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy. Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.
The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable' ' discharge after a few days in the brig. So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?
Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!
Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?' David Letterman
Wow. Indeed, no wonder the world sees us the way they do. I think our perspective is out of whack... We are an ungrateful, stubborn and selfish people. Help me, O Lord, to live with a thankful heart- for being born in this country- for such a time as this. If I only had a bird....
David Letterman wrote this; it's the David we don't often see...
"As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit the mark.” 'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?
A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?
B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?
C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?
D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?
E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.
H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.
J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.
K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.
L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?
Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy. Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.
The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable' ' discharge after a few days in the brig. So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?
Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!
Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?' David Letterman
Wow. Indeed, no wonder the world sees us the way they do. I think our perspective is out of whack... We are an ungrateful, stubborn and selfish people. Help me, O Lord, to live with a thankful heart- for being born in this country- for such a time as this. If I only had a bird....
Sunday, August 31, 2008
And so on....
Well- I am still in my GenX doldrums.... still struggling, particularly on a personal note. I feel more challenged to "step up to the plate." Sadly, I have NO FREAKIN' CLUE what that actually means. So....I will keep going and trusting God that whatever needs to happen will happen and I won't miss out or screw up. I think the more I walk with God, the less I know. But yet, I still trust Him. Yikes. I just feel as if I am totally messing things up all over the place. Yet, I seem to still be producing "fruit." I guess that's God using the imperfect vessel thing- thank goodness for that! Sometimes, I just feel like I've lost my.... "zeal"....for lack of a better term...to the point that sometimes I find other people's zeal a bit trite, which isn't fair at all. I don't presume to judge their hearts. But isn't there a way to live our lives for Jesus without being religious? I am beginning to wonder... But enough about that, suffice it to say- I am still very much in process.
In other news, other than picking up drycleaning and trying to cram all the costumes into stock- BIG RIVER IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. OY. It felt like it was TAKING OVER MY LIFE.
August is over, another relief. It's alway a busy time at Camp TTC- but it seemed much more so this year- partly because of Big River maintenance and partly because we had to build everything for the next show before September 1st when I lost the majority of my work force. A big shout out to Dana, Beth, Sue, Melinda and Mandy- I so would not have survived this summer without them. They do tremendous work and I really appreciate all of them sooooo much. Now, things should settle into a busy, but relatively normal pace through Christmas.
I really don't have too much more to say- actually, I do have much rolling around in my mind- but don't have the energy today to type it all out and try and make sense of it all.
In other news, other than picking up drycleaning and trying to cram all the costumes into stock- BIG RIVER IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. OY. It felt like it was TAKING OVER MY LIFE.
August is over, another relief. It's alway a busy time at Camp TTC- but it seemed much more so this year- partly because of Big River maintenance and partly because we had to build everything for the next show before September 1st when I lost the majority of my work force. A big shout out to Dana, Beth, Sue, Melinda and Mandy- I so would not have survived this summer without them. They do tremendous work and I really appreciate all of them sooooo much. Now, things should settle into a busy, but relatively normal pace through Christmas.
I really don't have too much more to say- actually, I do have much rolling around in my mind- but don't have the energy today to type it all out and try and make sense of it all.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Generation X
Well, long tedious story short. I survived the parental visit and had some fun to boot. It was hardly what I would call restful, but life goes on. I am still pretty fried and burned out, and am trying to figure out how to "rest and restore" so that I can continue on the insane track of my life that runs through Christmas. So life goes on. And that's that.
Today, at church, Jeff was talking about thinking cross-generationally (something I believe in VERY much) and was describing all the different generations- boomers, X-er's, millenials...etc. etc. and I am a bang-on-the-money X-er all the way. Yep. Yessiree...wow, it was a smidge scary.
Apparently, we're a tad cynical, we have an ability to see through "falseness"- particularly pertaining to the church, we lack optimism, and we are extremely relational, we are big into AUTHENTICITY. I would say, for me- that's pretty much truth.
As I sat there- listening to Jeff talk about how unless we start "walking the talk," the church will lose the generations to come, I realized that I think that is very true. I already don't particularly want to go to church... I am finding, lately, I really am tired of "playing church." But what does "real" church look like? I have no idea- but what it is- we're not seeing...
And I sat listening to the congregation (primarily boomers, I believe) sit there and say "Yes!" and "Amen!" I am afraid my X-er cynicism kicked in in a big way. I just don't think they really know what they are saying yes and amen to, and, if they find out- will they be willing and able to do it? I just don't know. I am sad to say that I don't have the confidence that they will. Boomers like their institutions and programs- which once worked, but don't anymore...can they really bridge the gap? As the older generation- these boomers need to impart what wisdom they can- if they don't change, if they don't try to REALLY reach these 20's and 30's folks, who are the next leaders of the church- the church will die. DIE. That sounds dramatic, God is so much bigger- but the church will probably morph into something they don't recognize- and will they be left behind? And what will the next generations miss out on? And what will they miss out on from the next generations if they can't change?
We live in a selfish society. When I taught daycare- the first words from the two-year olds were "MINE" and "NO." Do we teach children to be selfish? Not at all- they have that down already- we have to teach them to share, to not be selfish. Darn that sin nature. So how do we be like Jesus in our arrogant, entitled, self-centered, selfish american society? Truly being like Jesus gets messy. It means getting in people's messes- it means accepting them as is- and LOVING them that way. It means taking time out to be with people (X-er relationship-ism- right there, ladies and gents) and spend time with them- it doesn't mean shiny happy programs....says the girl planning the kick-ass Trunk-or-Treat for the church.... perhaps it doesn't mean shiny happy programs with agendas? I just don't know. It means sacrificing what we want for the other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, as husbands and wives, as complete strangers. It's EXHAUSTING. I know I struggle in a big way. BIG WAY. Sometimes, dealing with that kind of "high maintenance" in hurting people takes it completely out of me. I am drained. A puddle in the corner. Ouch. And when people ask me to pray, I have to say- "Sorry- I got nothing left." And part of that comes from the busy-ness that keeps me from pulling away and filling up and drawing close to God. How to balance it all? I have no idea, and right now, I am flunking in a big way.
But I do know that I am tired of "Going to church" instead of living like Jesus. I am tired of Christians treating each other without respect- treating each other like crap. I am just TIRED of it ALL. I love God- with my whole heart. But I really do struggle with the Bride. I know Jeff's heart is right- but while there are very, VERY good things going on at our church- it feels so.....churchy.... to me and I am afraid we are heading right back into the land of good mega-church-like government and great programs- and not really getting at the heart of what Jesus really wants from us. I wish I knew how to do it myself...I know I am gloriously inept.
In all honesty, I find providing a workplace that is a "refuge" for a stitcher who is going through a rough time seems to me to be much more fulfilling than going to church as of late. I feel so much more like that is what God is wanting me to do...and I'd like to do more. I love that Marty and I are out in the "art community"- we don't do traditional witnessing- but we make friends, we love people...isn't that really what it's about? Being Jesus to people, trusting God to draw them to Him through us...loving without agenda, being there to answer the questions when it's time...
I used to love going to church. But that was when I bought into all the "shiny happy christianity" crap- I lived at the church 24/7. I met all expectations- I "served" 20-30 hours a week. I led, I prayed, I read, I mentored, I cooked meals, I taught kid's church, I cleaned yards- all good things- no doubt- BUT- I had no "unsaved" friends... I wasn't Jesus to anyone who didn't already know Him...what's the point? I confess, I seem to be back in my wilderness time. I feel like I am still being called away to God- to soak and learn, sadly- I've been "too busy" to answer.
Father, help me to find the time to find you again. I am your little, cynical, frustrated X-er daughter and I need some HELP.
Today, at church, Jeff was talking about thinking cross-generationally (something I believe in VERY much) and was describing all the different generations- boomers, X-er's, millenials...etc. etc. and I am a bang-on-the-money X-er all the way. Yep. Yessiree...wow, it was a smidge scary.
Apparently, we're a tad cynical, we have an ability to see through "falseness"- particularly pertaining to the church, we lack optimism, and we are extremely relational, we are big into AUTHENTICITY. I would say, for me- that's pretty much truth.
As I sat there- listening to Jeff talk about how unless we start "walking the talk," the church will lose the generations to come, I realized that I think that is very true. I already don't particularly want to go to church... I am finding, lately, I really am tired of "playing church." But what does "real" church look like? I have no idea- but what it is- we're not seeing...
And I sat listening to the congregation (primarily boomers, I believe) sit there and say "Yes!" and "Amen!" I am afraid my X-er cynicism kicked in in a big way. I just don't think they really know what they are saying yes and amen to, and, if they find out- will they be willing and able to do it? I just don't know. I am sad to say that I don't have the confidence that they will. Boomers like their institutions and programs- which once worked, but don't anymore...can they really bridge the gap? As the older generation- these boomers need to impart what wisdom they can- if they don't change, if they don't try to REALLY reach these 20's and 30's folks, who are the next leaders of the church- the church will die. DIE. That sounds dramatic, God is so much bigger- but the church will probably morph into something they don't recognize- and will they be left behind? And what will the next generations miss out on? And what will they miss out on from the next generations if they can't change?
We live in a selfish society. When I taught daycare- the first words from the two-year olds were "MINE" and "NO." Do we teach children to be selfish? Not at all- they have that down already- we have to teach them to share, to not be selfish. Darn that sin nature. So how do we be like Jesus in our arrogant, entitled, self-centered, selfish american society? Truly being like Jesus gets messy. It means getting in people's messes- it means accepting them as is- and LOVING them that way. It means taking time out to be with people (X-er relationship-ism- right there, ladies and gents) and spend time with them- it doesn't mean shiny happy programs....says the girl planning the kick-ass Trunk-or-Treat for the church.... perhaps it doesn't mean shiny happy programs with agendas? I just don't know. It means sacrificing what we want for the other, as brothers and sisters in Christ, as husbands and wives, as complete strangers. It's EXHAUSTING. I know I struggle in a big way. BIG WAY. Sometimes, dealing with that kind of "high maintenance" in hurting people takes it completely out of me. I am drained. A puddle in the corner. Ouch. And when people ask me to pray, I have to say- "Sorry- I got nothing left." And part of that comes from the busy-ness that keeps me from pulling away and filling up and drawing close to God. How to balance it all? I have no idea, and right now, I am flunking in a big way.
But I do know that I am tired of "Going to church" instead of living like Jesus. I am tired of Christians treating each other without respect- treating each other like crap. I am just TIRED of it ALL. I love God- with my whole heart. But I really do struggle with the Bride. I know Jeff's heart is right- but while there are very, VERY good things going on at our church- it feels so.....churchy.... to me and I am afraid we are heading right back into the land of good mega-church-like government and great programs- and not really getting at the heart of what Jesus really wants from us. I wish I knew how to do it myself...I know I am gloriously inept.
In all honesty, I find providing a workplace that is a "refuge" for a stitcher who is going through a rough time seems to me to be much more fulfilling than going to church as of late. I feel so much more like that is what God is wanting me to do...and I'd like to do more. I love that Marty and I are out in the "art community"- we don't do traditional witnessing- but we make friends, we love people...isn't that really what it's about? Being Jesus to people, trusting God to draw them to Him through us...loving without agenda, being there to answer the questions when it's time...
I used to love going to church. But that was when I bought into all the "shiny happy christianity" crap- I lived at the church 24/7. I met all expectations- I "served" 20-30 hours a week. I led, I prayed, I read, I mentored, I cooked meals, I taught kid's church, I cleaned yards- all good things- no doubt- BUT- I had no "unsaved" friends... I wasn't Jesus to anyone who didn't already know Him...what's the point? I confess, I seem to be back in my wilderness time. I feel like I am still being called away to God- to soak and learn, sadly- I've been "too busy" to answer.
Father, help me to find the time to find you again. I am your little, cynical, frustrated X-er daughter and I need some HELP.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
INCOMING!!!
Well...in less than 24 hours, my parents will have descended upon us. At this moment, I am hoping they are relaxing in Spokane- and will arrive here in Seattle- early afternoonish tomorrow. The house...is clean. We'll set up the air mattress tonight. The towels are out- interestingly enough, we have absolutely NO matching towels in the house. NONE. I thought I had a set of at least matching bath towels, but no... OY. So the mismatched guest towels are out- hey- they do the job! So the house is as ready as it will be. I had grand plans of great spring cleaning (I am telling you, company can be inspiring for around the house projects) But I am too dang tired! Marty helped and vacuumed and took out the recycling- but I just didn't have it in me for a big clean. So be it. There are more important things in life than a spotless house...it's clean enough. Tomorrow I will pick up Mickey's meds, do a little last minute grocery shopping and then RELAX for a few precious hours before it's all parents, all the time. They will be here until Tuesday. No big plans yet...thrift stores (they love Value Village) and the show, and dinner with cousin Margaret, hopefully a cruise...we will see how it goes.
Mickey spent the day at the vet with his Katie. Katie is one of my favorite techs at the vet- she is super nice and way fun and when Mickey isn't being poked and prodded, he LOVES her. However, today was not that day. He had a blood test. Then he's all matted up. As my friend Heather says, "Old long haired kitties get lumpy." He's lumpy...and bony...and skinny...and currently a bit crabby. I gave him some "tuna juice" from the can- so when he wakes, he'll probably be happier. Katie couldn't get all the knots (those armpits are a booger) but she got a lot- next time, we'll go after the rest. He's just not that into grooming, and doesn't like to be brushed...which means we'll get lots of lectures from my mom about when they had him, how she brushed him every day etc. etc...he may have put up with it from her- but not from us. So he'll start his normal round of chemo tomorrow. Sadly, he's losing weight- and starting to fail- but he still seems active and happy and is eating, sleeping (when he's not stomping on my head at 4 am) and pooping...so we just keep on keeping on.
Marty is at the vet...I mean, the doctor right now. He has a sinus infection- he's been gone awhile, so I am assuming that he has prescriptions to fill or more tests or whatever- he's been gone 2 hours. Good thing we're not emceeing the Greenwood Seafair Parade this year, it's already started and we would be LATE. I'm actually not sad to miss the parade...3 years was plenty. However "Huck" and "Jim" from Big River are the grand marshals- in full costume- so that's pretty neat.
And that's all the news for now. The black eye is now green and yellow and purple and absolutely GORGEOUS. I tell you, I feel FANTASTIC! NO ONE is prettier than I am right now!
TTFN
Mickey spent the day at the vet with his Katie. Katie is one of my favorite techs at the vet- she is super nice and way fun and when Mickey isn't being poked and prodded, he LOVES her. However, today was not that day. He had a blood test. Then he's all matted up. As my friend Heather says, "Old long haired kitties get lumpy." He's lumpy...and bony...and skinny...and currently a bit crabby. I gave him some "tuna juice" from the can- so when he wakes, he'll probably be happier. Katie couldn't get all the knots (those armpits are a booger) but she got a lot- next time, we'll go after the rest. He's just not that into grooming, and doesn't like to be brushed...which means we'll get lots of lectures from my mom about when they had him, how she brushed him every day etc. etc...he may have put up with it from her- but not from us. So he'll start his normal round of chemo tomorrow. Sadly, he's losing weight- and starting to fail- but he still seems active and happy and is eating, sleeping (when he's not stomping on my head at 4 am) and pooping...so we just keep on keeping on.
Marty is at the vet...I mean, the doctor right now. He has a sinus infection- he's been gone awhile, so I am assuming that he has prescriptions to fill or more tests or whatever- he's been gone 2 hours. Good thing we're not emceeing the Greenwood Seafair Parade this year, it's already started and we would be LATE. I'm actually not sad to miss the parade...3 years was plenty. However "Huck" and "Jim" from Big River are the grand marshals- in full costume- so that's pretty neat.
And that's all the news for now. The black eye is now green and yellow and purple and absolutely GORGEOUS. I tell you, I feel FANTASTIC! NO ONE is prettier than I am right now!
TTFN
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Black eyed Sarahs
Well, Big River is up and running! HUZZAH! It's selling well and getting brilliant reviews and other than 2-6 loads of laundry per day and tons of repair work (the cast is MURDER on the clothes) I can...move on? Oy....So I took a WHOLE DAY off- yep- last Monday- which we spent cleaning and purging closets. We took a Jeep load to Goodwill- preparing for the Jeep load of "stuff" coming from Iowa this week. My parents started driving from Iowa today..... yikes. They will be here on Thursday through next Tuesday. It will be nice to see them- I am actually looking forward to their visit.
So, of course, it's still insanely busy. It's summer! I've been working on little projects around the house (nothing like having company to help you get your crap together) and we've had a friend stay with us a couple of nights this week. She's in Big River and lives in Tacoma and is working at the summer camps at Taproot. It's too much $$ and lack of sleep to drive home after the performance, sleep and come right back. She will probably stay with us a couple of nights a week for the rest of the run, except for next week.
I've been working on a press shoot for the next mainstage show- that happens Tuesday... and I've been madly working on the Road Company- work will be crazy until Christmas this year.
I am getting excited to get going on Trunk-or-Treat at church... I need to get a team together and get going on that. It's going to eat a lot of time- but I am so looking forward to it. It'll be so much fun for the kids and their families. However, it will eat so much time that if we have a Christmas play at church this year- I will not be involved.
Marty had a show at the Bouncing Wall for the Queen Anne art walk on Thursday night. Lots of folks showed up- so that was fun. It seemed he sold a lot of prints- so that is AWESOME. He's a hit, my studly hubby.
And yesterday I threw a luncheon for the team of stitchers for Big River. They did a great job and deserved every bit of appreciation I could throw at them. After that, I went to dinner at a co-worker's home to meet a potential new production stage manager- it was fun. She was nice. Coming home, I was getting out of the car- and my friend said something to me- I turned back to answer her and smacked my head into the frame of her car- it's a very aerodynamic car and the frame is much lower than most vehicles I ride in. I totally smacked the crap out of my head, slamming my sunglasses into my face. It immediately swelled up- it hurt like heck and I could tell as I got ready for bed, I'd wake up with a shiner. Sure enough, it's a beaut. Once the swelling goes down, I think it'll look like REALLY DRAMATIC eye make-up. One strawberry marguerita and a little bit of poor depth perception combined with an aerodynamic car...ouch!
My head still hurts like heck. I don't think I gave myself a concussion- but I hit my head VERY hard. And my eye is VERY black.
I wear my sunglasses at night...and at the bank...and at the store...and to church.....
Today, I gave the car it's annual bath...a very good thing. I also did a few little odd chores and rested a bit. Tomorrow is church (Marty and his band are leading worship- yay!) and we're going to check out the last low, low tide of the year- more starfish. It's so very cool to go and look at them. Then the rest of this week will be filled with busy times at work and preparing at work and at home for the parental arrival.
That's all for now, it's more than enough.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
So it begins....
Dress rehearsals start tonight. We are in amazingly good shape. I confess to being a bit stunned by that. We have a page of notes and a buttload of logistics and lists to sort out today- but pretty much ALL the clothes are there....out of curiousity- I think I might count them... Seriously, A LOT of clothing. Thank all y'all who are praying- it's working- keep praying- we still have to get through dress....all those actors in tight spaces. Yikes. Thankfully, it's a humble crowd- it's amazing how a little humility goes a long way. No divas in this bunch.
So that will be my life for the next week and a half...it'll be nice to have a day off tomorrow to recover from tonight.
Don't forget to check out my art at the Green Bean! It's up for the month of July!
So that will be my life for the next week and a half...it'll be nice to have a day off tomorrow to recover from tonight.
Don't forget to check out my art at the Green Bean! It's up for the month of July!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Highlights...
...of my week...
Big River- is well on its way. I can take the weekend off in good conscience. Everything is built- but needs to be finished after fittings on Monday. There is still much work to be done before first dress on Thursday, but my brain is MUSH and will be better prepared after a weekend (yes, 2 whole days!) of not dealing with it. Then, I will be ready for 2 weeks of ALL BIG RIVER, ALL THE TIME. Yikes.
We released the LADYBUGS!!! Yep, I bought 1500 ladybugs and released them on the porch to combat aphids. All but about 10 have left the building. I just hope they had the decency to lay eggs before they flew off, after all, I DID free them. Those remaining ladybugs have been having quite the aphid feast. It's a circle of bug's life...ladybugs eat the aphids, one ladybug got eaten by a spider.... It's all very fascinating...and organic!
I am in the process of purchasing a partially assembled dollhouse- I am quite excited. Tomorrow, I will call the guy and arrange to go get it. Then I will enjoy redecorating and finishing it and then hopefully sell it for a ridiculous amount of money. I would love to have a business doing that- but, baby steps. It'll be a nice way to let my mind rest.
Tuesday, I will hang an art show at The Green Bean. Tomorrow, I need to gather what I will be using so that I can do labels. I have a couple of repairs to do and some hangers to put on.
I also would like to start making Christmas ornaments as well...in all my copious spare time...and I am still in charge of Trunk-or-Treat at church this year....somehow...I don't think my plan to simplify my life is working.....
And through all this, I long to find a place to rest and retreat with Jesus. I just want to spend the rest of the year reading the gospels and finding out on a deeper level what Jesus said, how He loved and lived and how He intends for me to live...it's very hard in all the busy-ness...and I just want to create and pray! ACK! How to balance the time.
So that's my week, in a nutshell....
Tomorrow, I have a date with my husband (yeah, baby!) to go see Wall-e...and lunch. I will then do chores I've been ignoring and hopefully read a good book. All in all, a productive week.
Big River- is well on its way. I can take the weekend off in good conscience. Everything is built- but needs to be finished after fittings on Monday. There is still much work to be done before first dress on Thursday, but my brain is MUSH and will be better prepared after a weekend (yes, 2 whole days!) of not dealing with it. Then, I will be ready for 2 weeks of ALL BIG RIVER, ALL THE TIME. Yikes.
We released the LADYBUGS!!! Yep, I bought 1500 ladybugs and released them on the porch to combat aphids. All but about 10 have left the building. I just hope they had the decency to lay eggs before they flew off, after all, I DID free them. Those remaining ladybugs have been having quite the aphid feast. It's a circle of bug's life...ladybugs eat the aphids, one ladybug got eaten by a spider.... It's all very fascinating...and organic!
I am in the process of purchasing a partially assembled dollhouse- I am quite excited. Tomorrow, I will call the guy and arrange to go get it. Then I will enjoy redecorating and finishing it and then hopefully sell it for a ridiculous amount of money. I would love to have a business doing that- but, baby steps. It'll be a nice way to let my mind rest.
Tuesday, I will hang an art show at The Green Bean. Tomorrow, I need to gather what I will be using so that I can do labels. I have a couple of repairs to do and some hangers to put on.
I also would like to start making Christmas ornaments as well...in all my copious spare time...and I am still in charge of Trunk-or-Treat at church this year....somehow...I don't think my plan to simplify my life is working.....
And through all this, I long to find a place to rest and retreat with Jesus. I just want to spend the rest of the year reading the gospels and finding out on a deeper level what Jesus said, how He loved and lived and how He intends for me to live...it's very hard in all the busy-ness...and I just want to create and pray! ACK! How to balance the time.
So that's my week, in a nutshell....
Tomorrow, I have a date with my husband (yeah, baby!) to go see Wall-e...and lunch. I will then do chores I've been ignoring and hopefully read a good book. All in all, a productive week.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Big HONKIN' River...continues...
I feel like I am drowning in muddy waters. No, not really- I think it will be fine. But I am tired, it's an incredible amount of energy to expend to get this show up- I worked 50+ hours last week, and I think that's the shortest week I'll work for the next few weeks. It's just a huge show on all counts. If I can just take it day by day and not think about the amount of work that needs to happen in the next week and a half before 1st dress- it will be brilliant. And in three weeks, it will be up and running...huzzah. My parents are coming to visit the end of July and I already reserved good seats for them- I think it'll be a hot ticket...but beware- it's PG-13- there's cussing and the word "nigger" is used because we are trying to stay true to what Mark Twain intended with the story...
I think one of the funniest stories about this show came when I was returning the Doubt costumes to the Seattle Rep. The delightful Sarah- who is their rental person, asked me what show we were working on. I told her. She looked at me like I suddenly grew a second head and said, " Really? Are you doing it period?" I completely understand how she felt. We're substituting petticoats for hoop skirts so everyone will fit on the stage, but it is a really big show for our space. In fact, I am certain we will max out our space- rack space, the dressing rooms, the green room, the stage...but the cast is fun and all get along very well- so I am certain it will be fun times had by all....but if I'm not blogging...it's because I am swimming upstream in muddy waters....
I think one of the funniest stories about this show came when I was returning the Doubt costumes to the Seattle Rep. The delightful Sarah- who is their rental person, asked me what show we were working on. I told her. She looked at me like I suddenly grew a second head and said, " Really? Are you doing it period?" I completely understand how she felt. We're substituting petticoats for hoop skirts so everyone will fit on the stage, but it is a really big show for our space. In fact, I am certain we will max out our space- rack space, the dressing rooms, the green room, the stage...but the cast is fun and all get along very well- so I am certain it will be fun times had by all....but if I'm not blogging...it's because I am swimming upstream in muddy waters....
Friday, June 13, 2008
Brainfart of Epic Proportions...
.....I'd say one of the top three in my lifetime. I blew it. I got it in my head that BIG HONKIN' RIVER opens on July 18th- I was WRONGO- it opens on the 11th. Holy Crap. I just lost a whole week- do you know what that means in costume land? HOLY CRAP.
So, I am trying very hard not to panic. I have an amazing team of stitchers who are about to get a bit more work a bit sooner than they expected. I just thought we were doing well to head into first dress on the 11th- now it's on the 3rd. So- we will regroup on Monday and work the schedule again- thankfully, they are good and swift and want to work. I am so stupid. I can't believe I did this, seriously- I have NEVER EVER done anything quite like this before. I am in awe of myself. What an idiot. So...that being said, if you are a praying type- please pray for me- I need to be able to regroup and will probably have to put in a lot more hours myself in the next few weeks (not like I've been sitting around eating bon-bon's the past few weeks) and keep my own morale and the morale of my team up- and keep us from being completely overloaded. I think it's really hard because I already way underbudgeted labor on this one already and was already overwhelmed- and now...
I just feel soooo stupid.
So, I am trying very hard not to panic. I have an amazing team of stitchers who are about to get a bit more work a bit sooner than they expected. I just thought we were doing well to head into first dress on the 11th- now it's on the 3rd. So- we will regroup on Monday and work the schedule again- thankfully, they are good and swift and want to work. I am so stupid. I can't believe I did this, seriously- I have NEVER EVER done anything quite like this before. I am in awe of myself. What an idiot. So...that being said, if you are a praying type- please pray for me- I need to be able to regroup and will probably have to put in a lot more hours myself in the next few weeks (not like I've been sitting around eating bon-bon's the past few weeks) and keep my own morale and the morale of my team up- and keep us from being completely overloaded. I think it's really hard because I already way underbudgeted labor on this one already and was already overwhelmed- and now...
I just feel soooo stupid.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Waiting
For something. I don't know what. I am waiting for God to move. I hear things about healings and revival...but I don't know. These things make me uneasy, and I can't explain why. I don't doubt anything God can do, but I am still waiting for the deep, deep move of God. The kind that changes hearts and lives in the longterm...which in itself, is a sign, a wonder...a miracle. And yet, I am also waiting for the lady in our church who believes she will walk during this lifetime to go on and get on up out of her wheelchair. I am waiting to know the truth about what God intends church to be. I am waiting to soak in God's presence once again in worship. I am waiting for the "Word" to our church that other intercessors seem to be hearing, but I do not. I am waiting for the children of God to come to a place of humility and repentance. I am waiting for revelation- I am waiting for something big- and I don't even know what it is. But the expectation is in me, making me restless... and uneasy. I don't know how to pray. I honor the prayer requests of friends, but I feel like there's something more, something deeper, something bigger....
As I wait, God is still working. I see Him working in the lives of friends who are discovering new relationships... I see Him disciplining His children. Myself included. And I wait. I wait and hope not to get overwhelmed with busy-ness. My work life will be insane for the next month or so and could consume me. I don't want that. I wait, and I long for a simpler life. I wait, and my heart longs for stillness while my mind longs to be diverted... I am just waiting....for Him.
As I wait, God is still working. I see Him working in the lives of friends who are discovering new relationships... I see Him disciplining His children. Myself included. And I wait. I wait and hope not to get overwhelmed with busy-ness. My work life will be insane for the next month or so and could consume me. I don't want that. I wait, and I long for a simpler life. I wait, and my heart longs for stillness while my mind longs to be diverted... I am just waiting....for Him.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I got nothing....
....in mind for a witty title for this blog. Sorry.
Just a quick check in for those of you checking in. The new bed ROCKS. Love it! Still need the comforter set of our dreams, but we're all sleeping better.
I had to put down Grand Theft Jesus. Dude kinda went off the deep end a bit. He still had valid things to say-but I was just getting WAY depressed reading the book. If you're up for it- I would still recommend it. I think the CHURCH needs to relook at itself and behave more like the Bride than the Mistress, if you know what I mean. I am still studying the red letters. I have been praying and worshipping a lot lately, and praying about worship, and worshipping while praying... I sense a theme.
I still feel a heaviness about the grand scheme of eternity that hasn't lifted yet. Not sure what that's all about yet. Will keep praying and worshipping.
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by Big River. The sheer volume is unnerving. I think we will hit our "ceiling" on this one. One of the big issues I am concerned about is space, rack space, dressing room space. One of our goals is to take care of people and if 20 people are crammed into a space that 12 feel tight in.... I also don't know that I made the budget big enough. I guess we will find out. On the up side, I have one of the best construction crews we have ever had, so I am excited about that. And I think it should look pretty good...we will keep you posted.
I don't have much of a weekend, I have to dress both shows tomorrow. I will be taking Sunday off since next week will begin the build and the hilarity/madness will ensue. Just like Theoden in Two Towers, I stand on the wall of Helm's Deep thinking, "And so it begins."
Yikes.
Just a quick check in for those of you checking in. The new bed ROCKS. Love it! Still need the comforter set of our dreams, but we're all sleeping better.
I had to put down Grand Theft Jesus. Dude kinda went off the deep end a bit. He still had valid things to say-but I was just getting WAY depressed reading the book. If you're up for it- I would still recommend it. I think the CHURCH needs to relook at itself and behave more like the Bride than the Mistress, if you know what I mean. I am still studying the red letters. I have been praying and worshipping a lot lately, and praying about worship, and worshipping while praying... I sense a theme.
I still feel a heaviness about the grand scheme of eternity that hasn't lifted yet. Not sure what that's all about yet. Will keep praying and worshipping.
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by Big River. The sheer volume is unnerving. I think we will hit our "ceiling" on this one. One of the big issues I am concerned about is space, rack space, dressing room space. One of our goals is to take care of people and if 20 people are crammed into a space that 12 feel tight in.... I also don't know that I made the budget big enough. I guess we will find out. On the up side, I have one of the best construction crews we have ever had, so I am excited about that. And I think it should look pretty good...we will keep you posted.
I don't have much of a weekend, I have to dress both shows tomorrow. I will be taking Sunday off since next week will begin the build and the hilarity/madness will ensue. Just like Theoden in Two Towers, I stand on the wall of Helm's Deep thinking, "And so it begins."
Yikes.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
5 more days until the new bed!!!
Yep- it's a countdown. We flipped the mattress to "survive" the next week. Alas, it's just as uncomfy. I am way looking forward to the bed. Five days and counting......
In other news...I am trying to design Big River. It's HUGE. I think, if I can pull it off, it will be fantastic...but I have to get it designed first. I am hoping I can balance the size, the logistics and the artistry of it all. Prayers appreciated. I shall have no life until mid- July.
I miss the sun. Boo rain. Poor Mickey doesn't understand it's too chilly for him to hang out on the porch.
I am reading "Grand Theft Jesus." I was intrigued by the book at the library. It's very challenging and interesting. It's supposed to be funny, but I think the author just sounds angry most of the time. He has a right to be... I think.... or should he love his enemies.... the religious right, megachurches and their pastors, republicans? Things that make you go hmmmm....
I don't agree with everything this guy says- but he has A LOT of good points to think about- particularly, how the religious right seems to completely disregard the actual teachings of Jesus, which has led me to start studying the red letters in my Bible. If we really follow the teachings of Jesus, yikes. The author, Robert S. McElvaine, does seem to repeat himself quite a bit in the book, and he has his "pet" people and issues he picks on. I don't necessarily disagree with what he has to say about them, I understand his frustration, but I feel he must be careful that his heart is pure before God. I will trust that he does have a pure heart. He does have valid points about social issues that Jesus paid attention to (the poor) that the "church/religious right" doesn't actually support. He talks about how the "church" has lost sight of "good works." I think there might be some validity to that. In our society, we'll do "good works," if it doesn't cost us anything or require any sort of sacrifice of time, energy and emotion on our part. I am also intrigued by his notion of "Christianity-lite"- and how he likens it to a miracle diet, LOSE 50 POUNDS AND EAT WHAT YOU WANT!!! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO EXERCISE! It's a really interesting concept. NAME JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR AND YOU CAN STILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! It's interesting, I believe that we are saved by grace, and grace alone, and that you can't "work out" your salvation, but I think we need to grow as followers of Christ and that good works are a part of that journey. I don't think all "christians" think the way he talks about, he even admits that himself. But there are the loud "christians," that make a lot of noise, do a lot of damage and cause people like me to call ourselves "followers of Jesus" because we don't want to be associated with the loud and unloving crowd. I tell you what, it's a thinker of a book. But it does bring up some of the issues that I ponder and wonder, was that teaching I received and bought into for awhile in the past truthful? It challenges some leaders that I have looked up to in the past, but you know what? My faith can handle it. My God can handle it. But I want to know the TRUTH. So, I seek the truth in the words of Jesus Himself. I'll keep y'all posted on how that goes.
I've been studying for 3 days and have barely made it through the beatitudes. Talk about things that make you go hmmmm....those beatitudes pretty much go against the american dream. But so far, as I look around at astronomical housing, gas and food prices, we're destroying our economy, our earth- we have a crappy government, healthcare system and a TERRIBLE social security set-up....I think I am vastly UNIMPRESSED with the "American dream."
It boggles my mind to think there are folks out there who don't even think about this stuff. They don't want to take responsibility for our world. I think sometimes, people think that when it says God gave man dominion over the earth in Genesis, it means they can trash it and do whatever the hell they feel like. When really, it means we're responsible for taking care of our earth. We're responsible for taking care of each other, for feeding people, for taking care of the sick and the elderly...for loving one another. I am thankful that some parts of the earth are still untouched and beautiful. I am thankful for acts of love that I see. But many folks don't do even the little things to help the environment-let alone helping people. No, we live in a ME-ME-ME, CONSUME-CONSUME-CONSUME society. The age of reality TV.
Sadly, I think many (I am NOT saying all) churches buy into the whole american dream society thing as well. "Jesus died so I could have an SUV, $300 jeans and a summer home" mentality. Grrrr... I am very discouraged right now. A friend told me that another woman was praying for me, a woman I have never met, and that this woman felt that I was surrounded by sorrow. I think I am surrounded by sorrow. Deep sorrow for a broken world that can't look up from it's selfish and self-centered ways. I know that I am selfish and self-centered at times, many times- but I try to be aware that I am, even though I am quite imperfect at walking out an unselfish life.
Well, it's time to get off my soap box. It's a big jump down. I haven't been blogging because I've been so busy THINKING- about life, about Jesus, about society, about being "green," about conflict resolution, about all those crazy costumes in Big River. My brain is TIRED. It HURTS. I am going to my uncomfy bed and try to sleep it OFF.
I am so thankful that His mercies are new everyday.
In other news...I am trying to design Big River. It's HUGE. I think, if I can pull it off, it will be fantastic...but I have to get it designed first. I am hoping I can balance the size, the logistics and the artistry of it all. Prayers appreciated. I shall have no life until mid- July.
I miss the sun. Boo rain. Poor Mickey doesn't understand it's too chilly for him to hang out on the porch.
I am reading "Grand Theft Jesus." I was intrigued by the book at the library. It's very challenging and interesting. It's supposed to be funny, but I think the author just sounds angry most of the time. He has a right to be... I think.... or should he love his enemies.... the religious right, megachurches and their pastors, republicans? Things that make you go hmmmm....
I don't agree with everything this guy says- but he has A LOT of good points to think about- particularly, how the religious right seems to completely disregard the actual teachings of Jesus, which has led me to start studying the red letters in my Bible. If we really follow the teachings of Jesus, yikes. The author, Robert S. McElvaine, does seem to repeat himself quite a bit in the book, and he has his "pet" people and issues he picks on. I don't necessarily disagree with what he has to say about them, I understand his frustration, but I feel he must be careful that his heart is pure before God. I will trust that he does have a pure heart. He does have valid points about social issues that Jesus paid attention to (the poor) that the "church/religious right" doesn't actually support. He talks about how the "church" has lost sight of "good works." I think there might be some validity to that. In our society, we'll do "good works," if it doesn't cost us anything or require any sort of sacrifice of time, energy and emotion on our part. I am also intrigued by his notion of "Christianity-lite"- and how he likens it to a miracle diet, LOSE 50 POUNDS AND EAT WHAT YOU WANT!!! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO EXERCISE! It's a really interesting concept. NAME JESUS AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR AND YOU CAN STILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! It's interesting, I believe that we are saved by grace, and grace alone, and that you can't "work out" your salvation, but I think we need to grow as followers of Christ and that good works are a part of that journey. I don't think all "christians" think the way he talks about, he even admits that himself. But there are the loud "christians," that make a lot of noise, do a lot of damage and cause people like me to call ourselves "followers of Jesus" because we don't want to be associated with the loud and unloving crowd. I tell you what, it's a thinker of a book. But it does bring up some of the issues that I ponder and wonder, was that teaching I received and bought into for awhile in the past truthful? It challenges some leaders that I have looked up to in the past, but you know what? My faith can handle it. My God can handle it. But I want to know the TRUTH. So, I seek the truth in the words of Jesus Himself. I'll keep y'all posted on how that goes.
I've been studying for 3 days and have barely made it through the beatitudes. Talk about things that make you go hmmmm....those beatitudes pretty much go against the american dream. But so far, as I look around at astronomical housing, gas and food prices, we're destroying our economy, our earth- we have a crappy government, healthcare system and a TERRIBLE social security set-up....I think I am vastly UNIMPRESSED with the "American dream."
It boggles my mind to think there are folks out there who don't even think about this stuff. They don't want to take responsibility for our world. I think sometimes, people think that when it says God gave man dominion over the earth in Genesis, it means they can trash it and do whatever the hell they feel like. When really, it means we're responsible for taking care of our earth. We're responsible for taking care of each other, for feeding people, for taking care of the sick and the elderly...for loving one another. I am thankful that some parts of the earth are still untouched and beautiful. I am thankful for acts of love that I see. But many folks don't do even the little things to help the environment-let alone helping people. No, we live in a ME-ME-ME, CONSUME-CONSUME-CONSUME society. The age of reality TV.
Sadly, I think many (I am NOT saying all) churches buy into the whole american dream society thing as well. "Jesus died so I could have an SUV, $300 jeans and a summer home" mentality. Grrrr... I am very discouraged right now. A friend told me that another woman was praying for me, a woman I have never met, and that this woman felt that I was surrounded by sorrow. I think I am surrounded by sorrow. Deep sorrow for a broken world that can't look up from it's selfish and self-centered ways. I know that I am selfish and self-centered at times, many times- but I try to be aware that I am, even though I am quite imperfect at walking out an unselfish life.
Well, it's time to get off my soap box. It's a big jump down. I haven't been blogging because I've been so busy THINKING- about life, about Jesus, about society, about being "green," about conflict resolution, about all those crazy costumes in Big River. My brain is TIRED. It HURTS. I am going to my uncomfy bed and try to sleep it OFF.
I am so thankful that His mercies are new everyday.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
WE'RE GETTING A NEW BED!!!
WHOO HOO! New bed! We bought a new bed! We tried on beds and we bought a new bed! We won't have it until next week, but we have a new bad! BYE BYE BAD OLD BED! WE GOT A NEW BED!!! Thank you tax rebate- we poured it back into the economy and we bought a NEW BED! Neither Marty nor I have ever bought a bed, but today, WE BOUGHT A NEW BED!!! There will be enough room for everyone including the cat, Marty won't toss and turn and bounce me in the night because WE'LL HAVE A NEW BED!!! He won't hit me in the head because he sleeps with his arm straight out because WE'LL HAVE A NEW BED!!! I am very excited. Can you tell? Did I mention WE'RE GETTING A NEW BED!!! Next Monday, our NEW BED will arrive. WHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
new bed
yay.
new bed
yay.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Yes, Virginia, there is a Sarah....
I know. It's been many moons since I have blogged, and I suspect this one will be short. I just haven't felt like sharing all the kabillion things that have been going on, or I've been spending too much time doing the kabillion things...or I've been playing on Facebook, take your pick. : )
I loved my vacation- and would like another one. I got some sun and am currently peeling. (Delightful) I enjoyed meeting about 900 people (okay- more like 100- but it felt like 900, most of them cousins) I forgot how much I love Florida, particularly Pensacola. I liked hanging out with the Gordon clan. I am fascinated by Uncle Terry's house. Seriously, THREE houses FULL of massive amounts of antiques and "treasures." As a former "Merry Maid," it makes me shiver. And that doesn't include the rest of the "estate" that has a really beat up single wide (to be made into a playhouse...perhaps...never, it made Aunt Jody cry when it made an appearance) and another single wide that is actually livable, there is a full scale antique playground with all the equipment, a couple of full outbuildings, a swimming hole with a sunken boat and full of tires, a swimming hole that looks like you can swim in it- with a cool slide...It was a little overwhelming. I kept thinking, if they would purge and finish project and tidy up a bit- Country Living would be chomping at the bit to do a spread. But really, like Marty said, it's Florida- who needs 140 quilts?
I will share more about the trip as I feel inspired. But I had a great time and it was VERY difficult to come home.
It was probably so difficult because we really hit the ground running. I had to strike Doubt, we start dress rehearsals for Over the River tonight, and I am interviewing stitchers and interns and trying to design Big River (which is a logistical monster). I am wore out and need another vacation. I started back to work the day after we got home, and due to some church events and company, haven't really had any downtime since. The results of which- I have no idea what day it is at any given time. No sense of time whatsoever. Yikes. I do take momentary mental breaks. I read the New York Times business, opinion and style sections- I get depressed, so I go read the Go Fug Yourself website, which makes me feel like an unclassy american, and then I discovered this! http://www.kickette.com/index.php?/site/C30/ The KICKETTE website, which is British and devoted to "Footballers and their Wives and Girlfriends"- suddenly, I feel ever so classy. Wow. It's a hoot and a half. I don't even know who most of these folks are, but YIKES. It's a lesson in keeping priorities straight. And I have become convinced that the reason Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) looks so hacked off all the time is that she is probably hungry. Good heavens! Give that woman some french fries!
And on top of all this "stuff" that really does not matter in the grand scheme of eternity, God is working on some "stuff" that does matter in the grand scheme of eternity. Daily, I pray for balance and that I can learn what I need to learn and be in God's flow of what He is doing.
TTFN
I loved my vacation- and would like another one. I got some sun and am currently peeling. (Delightful) I enjoyed meeting about 900 people (okay- more like 100- but it felt like 900, most of them cousins) I forgot how much I love Florida, particularly Pensacola. I liked hanging out with the Gordon clan. I am fascinated by Uncle Terry's house. Seriously, THREE houses FULL of massive amounts of antiques and "treasures." As a former "Merry Maid," it makes me shiver. And that doesn't include the rest of the "estate" that has a really beat up single wide (to be made into a playhouse...perhaps...never, it made Aunt Jody cry when it made an appearance) and another single wide that is actually livable, there is a full scale antique playground with all the equipment, a couple of full outbuildings, a swimming hole with a sunken boat and full of tires, a swimming hole that looks like you can swim in it- with a cool slide...It was a little overwhelming. I kept thinking, if they would purge and finish project and tidy up a bit- Country Living would be chomping at the bit to do a spread. But really, like Marty said, it's Florida- who needs 140 quilts?
I will share more about the trip as I feel inspired. But I had a great time and it was VERY difficult to come home.
It was probably so difficult because we really hit the ground running. I had to strike Doubt, we start dress rehearsals for Over the River tonight, and I am interviewing stitchers and interns and trying to design Big River (which is a logistical monster). I am wore out and need another vacation. I started back to work the day after we got home, and due to some church events and company, haven't really had any downtime since. The results of which- I have no idea what day it is at any given time. No sense of time whatsoever. Yikes. I do take momentary mental breaks. I read the New York Times business, opinion and style sections- I get depressed, so I go read the Go Fug Yourself website, which makes me feel like an unclassy american, and then I discovered this! http://www.kickette.com/index.php?/site/C30/ The KICKETTE website, which is British and devoted to "Footballers and their Wives and Girlfriends"- suddenly, I feel ever so classy. Wow. It's a hoot and a half. I don't even know who most of these folks are, but YIKES. It's a lesson in keeping priorities straight. And I have become convinced that the reason Victoria Beckham (aka Posh Spice) looks so hacked off all the time is that she is probably hungry. Good heavens! Give that woman some french fries!
And on top of all this "stuff" that really does not matter in the grand scheme of eternity, God is working on some "stuff" that does matter in the grand scheme of eternity. Daily, I pray for balance and that I can learn what I need to learn and be in God's flow of what He is doing.
TTFN
Monday, April 14, 2008
Dream, dream, dream
Someday, when I am in heaven, I intend to have a little chat about the whole dream thing. Last night- I had some CRAZY dreams. Most of them I can't remember, but one of them involves a little girl named Aria- daughter of friends of ours. Aria is 4-5ish. She is GORGEOUS. I love to look at this little girl, and it's not just because she is pretty- which she is, but there is something about her.... She has dark hair and eyes, she's feminine but not prissy. She seems to be very certain who she is- at least during the encounters I have had with her. She is very genuinely her- no airs, no self-consciousness- just wonderful, beautiful her.
So anyway- last night I have this dream about her. It's HILARIOUS. I am with her. For some reason, she is temporarily in my care. We are standing in a very crowded place with lots of people milling about, hence, I have her very firmly by the hand. We are standing about 10-15 feet away from some bathrooms. We stand there for a few minutes as several men enter the men's room. All of a sudden, Aria jerks away from me and starts booking it toward the men's room. I yell, "Aria! Wait!" But she runs on, very determined and yells back,
"I'VE GOT TO TELL THEM ABOUT JESUS!"
And then she disappears into the men's room.
I FREAK OUT. Seriously. FREAK OUT. In a split second, all of the following goes through my mind:
"OHMIGOSH! OHMIGOSH! She can't go in there! It's the men's room! She's LITTLE! There are A LOT OF GUYS in there! Their willies will be out! She can't see that! I need to go in there and get her! I can't- I can't see that! But it's more important she doesn't see that! What do I do? What do I do?"
Seriously freaking out. I look around, my husband is nowhere to be found- everyone is a stranger- then I see our friend Jeff way across the room and I yell,
"JEEEEFFFFFFF!!!"
Wisely, Jeff senses the panic in my eyes and voice, I point towards the men's room, "Aria is in there!" He heads in.
I wake up.
What the heck?
So anyway- last night I have this dream about her. It's HILARIOUS. I am with her. For some reason, she is temporarily in my care. We are standing in a very crowded place with lots of people milling about, hence, I have her very firmly by the hand. We are standing about 10-15 feet away from some bathrooms. We stand there for a few minutes as several men enter the men's room. All of a sudden, Aria jerks away from me and starts booking it toward the men's room. I yell, "Aria! Wait!" But she runs on, very determined and yells back,
"I'VE GOT TO TELL THEM ABOUT JESUS!"
And then she disappears into the men's room.
I FREAK OUT. Seriously. FREAK OUT. In a split second, all of the following goes through my mind:
"OHMIGOSH! OHMIGOSH! She can't go in there! It's the men's room! She's LITTLE! There are A LOT OF GUYS in there! Their willies will be out! She can't see that! I need to go in there and get her! I can't- I can't see that! But it's more important she doesn't see that! What do I do? What do I do?"
Seriously freaking out. I look around, my husband is nowhere to be found- everyone is a stranger- then I see our friend Jeff way across the room and I yell,
"JEEEEFFFFFFF!!!"
Wisely, Jeff senses the panic in my eyes and voice, I point towards the men's room, "Aria is in there!" He heads in.
I wake up.
What the heck?
Let them walk.
My friend, Jeff, said this in his latest blog entry...
"But none of those I care about belong to me, and they will walk as they will walk."
Boy, ain't that the truth. He was talking about seeing some healing starting to happen in some of his friends. And I just thought that simple statement holds a WHOLE BIG BUCKET LOAD OF TRUTH. But to add to it, we must trust that God loves those we care about and is even more concerned with their welfare than those of us who love them best. For as much as we have their health and well-being in mind, God has so much more love for them than we do. And He has time, and grace, and patience... all those things we seem to lack when we see our loved ones hurting. I know that I want to see those that hurt around me to be whole and healed- but all I can do is pray. And love. And I do those to the best of my imperfect ability. And then I have to trust Him to do the rest, and trust that He can work in those I love- which I do. Afterall, He worked wonders in me. I was SUCH a mess. Wow. Yikes. Hallelujah. : ) If He can do it in Paul, and He can do it in me......
"But none of those I care about belong to me, and they will walk as they will walk."
Boy, ain't that the truth. He was talking about seeing some healing starting to happen in some of his friends. And I just thought that simple statement holds a WHOLE BIG BUCKET LOAD OF TRUTH. But to add to it, we must trust that God loves those we care about and is even more concerned with their welfare than those of us who love them best. For as much as we have their health and well-being in mind, God has so much more love for them than we do. And He has time, and grace, and patience... all those things we seem to lack when we see our loved ones hurting. I know that I want to see those that hurt around me to be whole and healed- but all I can do is pray. And love. And I do those to the best of my imperfect ability. And then I have to trust Him to do the rest, and trust that He can work in those I love- which I do. Afterall, He worked wonders in me. I was SUCH a mess. Wow. Yikes. Hallelujah. : ) If He can do it in Paul, and He can do it in me......
Friday, April 11, 2008
Vacation...
If you checked out my husband's blog, you know that we're only a week away from vacation. I really, really need it. Seriously. I woke up this morning and was so...agitated...I guess that's a good word, that I am amazed and extremely thankful for the grace of God that got me through the day. After weeks of doing "catch-up" work at work, now it's time to get a show up and we're a little behind schedule due to several things- coordinating schedules with the guest designer being a primary issue- but things are under way and all will be well. I need to get some work on Big River done before we leave and all sorts of other details at home and at work... Why is it that things always seem to get even crazier before a vacation? I feel like I have run out of steam. I need a change of location and pace, I think. I just pray we can get to Florida. We're flying American- 'nuff said.
I am trying to listen to God and figure out how to live my life with less stress. Most of my stress is work-related. I'm not sure how to deal with that- since nothing seems to change. We had a staff retreat last week and talked about respect and trust and all that good sort of stuff. It was a bit eye-opening for me. I realized I don't fully trust folks. I think it's because even if we discuss issues, nothing ever really seems to change. Little improvements- material improvements, are made over time- but the important stuff, relational issues and such- no change. So I guess it makes me feel like if we are "discussing issues" that it's just "talk," and what's the point? It just feels like we're going in circles, talking about the same issues over and over again- and some things are polarities- and will always be there- and that's fine. I can deal with that. But I'm tired of not feeling safe enough to talk about stuff that actually matters. I'm tired of "christianese" in all arenas. Surely, Jesus could have cut to the chase and would have been able to speak the truth in love. I feel like all we want is love, and not the truth. I know I'm not a fan when it's a truth I don't want to hear, my defenses go up...but then I realize it is TRUTH and I suck it up and deal and am usually a better person for it. I know there are tasks to be done and task people to do them, but here's the deal. ALL OF IT WILL COME TO PASS. People are the things that are eternal. Relationships are eternal. Stuff is stuff. I don't know- my brain is tired from keeping all the plates spinning. I need to let them crash. Sadly, I don't know that I can let them crash. Sigh. I guess I am just feeling fried and a little blue. And today is the month anniversary of Max's death. Marty is at band practice, preparing for a friend's birthday party tomorrow. I think I am a little lonely. I went for a lovely long walk this evening and enjoyed all the flowers, and got a little depressed at the fact it seems like we'll never be able to afford a home of our own. I just don't know what to do with myself this evening. Bummer.
7 days until vacation.
I am trying to listen to God and figure out how to live my life with less stress. Most of my stress is work-related. I'm not sure how to deal with that- since nothing seems to change. We had a staff retreat last week and talked about respect and trust and all that good sort of stuff. It was a bit eye-opening for me. I realized I don't fully trust folks. I think it's because even if we discuss issues, nothing ever really seems to change. Little improvements- material improvements, are made over time- but the important stuff, relational issues and such- no change. So I guess it makes me feel like if we are "discussing issues" that it's just "talk," and what's the point? It just feels like we're going in circles, talking about the same issues over and over again- and some things are polarities- and will always be there- and that's fine. I can deal with that. But I'm tired of not feeling safe enough to talk about stuff that actually matters. I'm tired of "christianese" in all arenas. Surely, Jesus could have cut to the chase and would have been able to speak the truth in love. I feel like all we want is love, and not the truth. I know I'm not a fan when it's a truth I don't want to hear, my defenses go up...but then I realize it is TRUTH and I suck it up and deal and am usually a better person for it. I know there are tasks to be done and task people to do them, but here's the deal. ALL OF IT WILL COME TO PASS. People are the things that are eternal. Relationships are eternal. Stuff is stuff. I don't know- my brain is tired from keeping all the plates spinning. I need to let them crash. Sadly, I don't know that I can let them crash. Sigh. I guess I am just feeling fried and a little blue. And today is the month anniversary of Max's death. Marty is at band practice, preparing for a friend's birthday party tomorrow. I think I am a little lonely. I went for a lovely long walk this evening and enjoyed all the flowers, and got a little depressed at the fact it seems like we'll never be able to afford a home of our own. I just don't know what to do with myself this evening. Bummer.
7 days until vacation.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Ho hum.
Well. What to say. Not much going on here. But I think that's okay. It's nice not going a kabillion miles an hour and have something happening EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY for a change.
We opened Doubt last week, it's getting great reviews, but not selling so hot. I think we'll see the trickle down effect of the economy at the theatre this year. I am also starting research for Big River and we'll start the next show (which has a guest designer) next week. I'm using the "down" time to catch up on projects I never have time to do around the shop- so far, I have purged wigs (thrilling) and patterns and have reorganized all the make-up and hair bobbery. Tomorrow, I am purging and reorganizing the craft shelf and maybe the fabric. WOW. I tell you, theatre is ALL about the GLAMOUR and the MONEY.
We saw Cabaret at the 5th this week. It was....very red. I enjoyed it- but I felt it was very surface-y in some ways- I felt it could have gone deeper, but I still enjoyed it. The "emcee" was a hoot!
I read the New York Times everyday online- about the economy, the presential race, the state of life, men's fashion, Patti Lupone on Broadway- and I really wonder...what the heck is going on? I feel like the world is going kablooey. But God is good all the time. And I am very certain that Patti totally ROCKS Mama Rose.
It's spring. It was a beautiful day today- I highly enjoyed my walk home and the daffodils are out, the tulips are starting...I just loooooovvvveeee flowers. I am very much looking forward to setting up "my room" on the porch when we get back from Florida. Of course, Marty is VERY welcome out there- but he's not good at tuning out the traffic. But I love to sit out there and Mickey loves to join me. So this year, I'll plant green beans, peppers, tomatoes and herbs. I have decided to do more flowers this year. Sadly, the obese mouse has returned and will have to be trapped, all the decorative cabbages had grown back and then we had a cold snap- and now, they are stalks. At least I won't feel bad getting rid of the cabbages now- I am a sucker for a comeback. The mouse will have to go before we plant the veggies though. I hate that- wish we could all live together in peace...but..... Anyhoo, when we get back from vacation, I will put out the indoor/outdoor carpet, the plants...it will be delightful. I just love to sit out there and read. I pretty much read the entire Harry Potter series out there last year. Don't know what I'll read this summer.
Other than that-I have been missing Max deeply lately. It's been hitting me hard- he'll be gone 3 weeks tomorrow- it feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. I guess it's really sinking in for me that he's really, truly gone. It sucks.
Lots going on at our church with all the changes and such. We're gearing up for Pentecost....I'm looking forward to it- I think something is going to shift- there will be a release, I hope, of God's spirit. People are hungry for it and God is faithful...we'll see how it goes.
I am looking forward to vacation. Hopefully, the weather will be nice. We plan to take a sunset dolphin cruise and do some shopping and chilling out at the beach! WHOO HOO!
Enough rambling for now. Life just goes on.....
We opened Doubt last week, it's getting great reviews, but not selling so hot. I think we'll see the trickle down effect of the economy at the theatre this year. I am also starting research for Big River and we'll start the next show (which has a guest designer) next week. I'm using the "down" time to catch up on projects I never have time to do around the shop- so far, I have purged wigs (thrilling) and patterns and have reorganized all the make-up and hair bobbery. Tomorrow, I am purging and reorganizing the craft shelf and maybe the fabric. WOW. I tell you, theatre is ALL about the GLAMOUR and the MONEY.
We saw Cabaret at the 5th this week. It was....very red. I enjoyed it- but I felt it was very surface-y in some ways- I felt it could have gone deeper, but I still enjoyed it. The "emcee" was a hoot!
I read the New York Times everyday online- about the economy, the presential race, the state of life, men's fashion, Patti Lupone on Broadway- and I really wonder...what the heck is going on? I feel like the world is going kablooey. But God is good all the time. And I am very certain that Patti totally ROCKS Mama Rose.
It's spring. It was a beautiful day today- I highly enjoyed my walk home and the daffodils are out, the tulips are starting...I just loooooovvvveeee flowers. I am very much looking forward to setting up "my room" on the porch when we get back from Florida. Of course, Marty is VERY welcome out there- but he's not good at tuning out the traffic. But I love to sit out there and Mickey loves to join me. So this year, I'll plant green beans, peppers, tomatoes and herbs. I have decided to do more flowers this year. Sadly, the obese mouse has returned and will have to be trapped, all the decorative cabbages had grown back and then we had a cold snap- and now, they are stalks. At least I won't feel bad getting rid of the cabbages now- I am a sucker for a comeback. The mouse will have to go before we plant the veggies though. I hate that- wish we could all live together in peace...but..... Anyhoo, when we get back from vacation, I will put out the indoor/outdoor carpet, the plants...it will be delightful. I just love to sit out there and read. I pretty much read the entire Harry Potter series out there last year. Don't know what I'll read this summer.
Other than that-I have been missing Max deeply lately. It's been hitting me hard- he'll be gone 3 weeks tomorrow- it feels like yesterday and forever ago all at the same time. I guess it's really sinking in for me that he's really, truly gone. It sucks.
Lots going on at our church with all the changes and such. We're gearing up for Pentecost....I'm looking forward to it- I think something is going to shift- there will be a release, I hope, of God's spirit. People are hungry for it and God is faithful...we'll see how it goes.
I am looking forward to vacation. Hopefully, the weather will be nice. We plan to take a sunset dolphin cruise and do some shopping and chilling out at the beach! WHOO HOO!
Enough rambling for now. Life just goes on.....
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